Me? Rant? Noooooooo..... *smirks*

Okay, I know I rant a lot in this thing and now that I'm on like a lot of people's friends list, I'll be nicer, I promise (well, maybe... hehe). Anyway, it's so kewl to read through others' entries, even though journals ARE supposed to be personal, sharing them with friends is even better! *sniffles* I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Anyway, things are about the same for me, I'm just handling things a lot better. I've talked to my mom, who was so great and understanding and I think I'm finally realizing what a wonderful person she really is. Only took me 27 years... *L* I was always daddy's girl, so when my father died, I was just so... lost. Still am a lot of the times, I really do feel the lack of a fatherly presence around me, especially right before I go onstage. For some reason, it kills me that he can't be there to ever see me act. Although sometimes, I can feel him sorta' watching over me and it's funny, that moment before my first line, I'm silently talking to him, and maybe that sounds crazy, but it's become a tradition with me now. I go on stage thinking of Daddy.

Okay, enough with the depressing stuff. I'm going to listen to some more South Park songs and have a great day demmit! Or Else! *L*

Well, that was short-lived

Well, life sucks again. Should've known work would bring me back to my usual ranting bitchy self. I've gotta' get out of this environment, it's freakin' killing me. Just the stress from trying to keep this cheap ass computer functional is pissing me off. Yeah, it's sad when you're a company that is supposedly "on the cutting edge of web technology" and the comp you have at home is better than the comp you have at work. Fucked up? Yeah, it is!

And I don't like feeling crowded. I hate working in an open space to begin with, but when people start coming around and looking over my shoulder and just hanging around in general, telling me to do this and do that, or don't do this, don't do that. I wanna' kill 'em all. And I'm not a violent person, but I swear if they would leave me alone, I'd get more work done.

And then my mom calls, although I keep telling her I'm not supposed to be taking personal calls at work unless it's an emergency. And she gets upset because I tell her to call me at home later and I remember why we don't get along in the first place. She's neurotic sometimes, it's like she wants to tell me something, she has to do it right there and then, it can NEVER wait. So she calls me at work, when I'm surrounded by 5 other people to ask me about the weather? I mean, COME ON!!!

I really am starting to hate my life again and it sucks that I'm on acting hiatus til after the New Year because I have no way to get rid of all these negative feelings and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind or just explode soon.